Tales of Suppandi

Suppandi is the mythical hero of a series of funny south Indian traditional folk tales. Suppandi is a simpleton who inevitably gets things wrong and makes the weirdest and funniest mistakes. A couple of posts back I had mentioned my maid who appears to be a near-relative of his and one of my blog readers said they used to call their old maid Suppandi. I've decided to adopt the monicker for mine, as she fits the bill so well.

Yesterday, Puddi was to spend the night at my parents' house. I asked Suppandi to bring her pajamas, bottle and a diaper. Suppandi brought the items one by one - but of course - and laid a trail of them all across the drawing room. "No, put them in a bag". "Bag?" "Yes, you know - bag? Plastic or cloth one?"

Suppandi went off and came back with a cotton bag and Chubbocks pajamas, and promptly started putting his pajamas into the bag. "No, Suppandi, Puddi is going, not Chubbocks, so you need to put in Puddi's clothes and stuff." She took out Chubbocks' pajamas, laid them on the arm of the rocking chair, then promptly started folding them and putting them back into the bag.

"Suppandi, Puddi is going. You need to put in Puddi's Dora pajamas, which are lying here on the table, her diaper and her bottle. Chubbocks is not going; don't pack his stuff."

Pause. Chubbocks clothes come out of the bag and go back on the arm of the rocking chair. Pause again.

Chubbocks clothes are again taken off the arm of the rocking chair, folded and put into the bag. That's when my BP spikes to a dangerous level. "Suppandi, I just told you three times in the last five minutes that you need to pack Puddi's things and not Chubbocks!"

Suppandi withdraws with Chubbocks pajamas and bag in tow and fails to return. Eventually, my parents carry Puddi's stuff home in their hands.

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Later last night...

I was in the throes of agonizing pelvic pain yesterday thanks to the effects of the hormone relaxin. I had been unable to sleep all night or during the day, no amount of analgesic gels had helped and I had literally cried with pain. I decided to try a hot water bottle at night and since our house is still in a shambles due to the move, sent Suppandi over to my parents' house to borrow theirs.

"Suppandi, can you heat a steel pan full of water? When it is hot, please pour the water into the red rubber thing you just brought from my parents' house."

Suppandi goes away with a puzzled look on her face. A and I decide discretion is the better part of valour, so we ask her to show us what she got from my parents' place. She comes back with a small steel box full of kesar which my grandmom had given me a few days ago to have with milk!

"Is this what You just brought back from my parents' house? Where's the big red rubber thing?"

Suppandi goes away looking totally bamboozled.

Finally A gets up, goes into the kitchen and hands her the hot water bottle which she has kept upon the kitchen counter in plain sight a few minutes back!