Tough Question

You hear so much about poor, tiny little kids who are molested by a close family friend, a relative, or a parent, and very often you feel outraged that the other parent stood by and did nothing, or chose not to believe it. Recently, a small little experience proved to me why this is such a difficult thing for a parent to accept and act upon.

Lately, I have banished myself to the kids' room, because A's snoring has been worse than ever and I really am a light sleeper. Chubbocks and Puddi have been sleeping in our bedroom.

The other day, Puds had a bad diaper rash since she's been spending more time than usual in diapers because of the weather, and was complaining about pain 'down there'. Then it occurred to me that that's what a kid complains of when she's been molested too.

The minute the thought came into my head, I started mentally apologising to A for even having such a thought...And then the realisation flashed - maybe this is what mothers go through ( or fathers) when they hear these statements from their kids. They think, "Oh no, my husband/ wife/ friend would never do this. How could I be such a terrible person to even think of something like this...?" and shut their mind on it. Because it is honestly mind-boggling to be able to bring oneself to think that the people one had known and loved for so long could even be capable of such behaviour. It just doesn't tally with the mental or heart-image of them that we carry around.

But sadly, every baby's dad is not like A. There are indeed some deeply disturbed and depraved people out there walking with 'mom and 'dad' and 'uncle' and 'aunty' tags on.

I don't even know if this is making any sense. Let me clarify - all Puds had was a diaper rash, I'm in no way saying anything else about A. Also, I'm not supporting parents/ carers who refuse to believe or perceive the evidence they see piling up year after year and turn their backs on it because they refuse to rock the boat. But I can understand how that might happen, unless they are overtly confronted with the evidence.

A - sorry for dragging you into this one.