Kids and empathy

Our kids come pre-loaded with so many wonderful programs, I wonder who thinks them up, how one finds out what all is pre-loaded since someone up there forgot to pack the instruction booklet, and I also hope and pray one will be able to enable them to use all the programs properly. Chubbocks, from the time he was little, showed signs of being a gentle, sensitive type. He used to get upset if anyone spoke in a loud tone around him and in playschool, the minute he saw another kid crying or looking unhappy, his face would immediately mirror the expression and he's want to go over and comfort the other kid, ask what's wrong and so on.

It used to discomfit me at times, having become suitably adult and used to trying to ignore signs of distress in random starngers unless asked for help. Then I realised it was actually a wonderful ability to be able to empathise with other people, and that if only we encouraged kids to go up to each other and openly seek/ offer comfort and a listening ear, the world would be better off. I started encoraging him to go right ahead and express his empathy. Now he's become a 'big boy', full of Ben 10 and Pink Panther and 'fighting evil people' and such-like. But even now, if we ever scold Puddi, his eyes well up and he immediately reaches across to comfort her and yell at us, "She's only a little kid".

Puddi shows signs of being a much more rampageous character, never quiet for s second when she can create mischief instead, busily spilling water all over the house for people to slip on, stealing candy from the fridge and so on. But she too shows a caring spirit and especially if Chubbocks ever cries, she immediately reaches out, gives him a body hug with a 'Solly, bhaiyya'. Yesterday, Chubbocks had fallen on top of the wrought-irom side table and fallen down. His dignity was hurt more than any phsical harm but he started bawling anyway. Puddi couldn't stand it, and it was heart-warming to watch her cup his face in her little hands and say, "Don't cry. Kya hua?"

I hope they always have this spirit of reaching out and sharing each other's distress. That embodies the spirit of raksha-bandhan and sibing love to me. But I also see a lot of other kids in the park or at Chubbocks' school who don't seem to have this spirit, and in fact, delight in making other kids cry. And I see kids who used to be similar to Chubbocks in playschool who have now grown up to be much more 'hardened', for want of a better word. And I wonder why, and what happened. Did they wind up watching too much TV? Were they told to wisen up and not be 'such a baby'? Does no one - maid or mother - encourage them to go up to playmates in distress and offer a comforting word or hug? Or did they, in the process of growing up to the age of 5, just lose the ability to understand their playmates' hurt or humiliation and react to it sympathetically? At the risk of my kids being called 'softies' or worse, I sure hope they manage to preserve this ability all their lives.