My Birthday

A few days before my birthday this year, A and I were rushing throug a mall for some work when I spotted a yellow straw bag in a shop. I casually commented that it looked like a fun bag to carry around for summer and that maybe I would buy it some time later. A immediately said, "Why don't I get you that for your birthday present? I haven't got you anything so far."

I had been hinting since last year that I would love a surprise birthday party on my 40th birthday but things had been really crazy around the house, with one maid missing, me serving as cook and general factotum and kids being sick one after another. So I figured any kind of party would be impossible. But a straw bag as a 40th birthday present? Sorry, but I'm more materialistic than that. And when he followed it up with "We can at least go out for dinner to Olive", I thought it was shaping to be the worst birthday ever. I mean, going to dinner at Olive is something we do for any old birthday or anniversary, not for a milestone one. So I just grouchily said that we could just order in pizza and eat it in our pajamas as I didn't feel up to making an effort.

I grumbled to my soulsis at length the next day, wishing that she still lived in Delhi so we could at least take off for a spa day together...But I got my cool back and decided anything was ok. Around Wednesday, when I asked him where we were going for dinner, A said cryptically, "Don't ask too many questions and just play along as the evening unfolds." I thought he must have cooked up some romantic surprise at the dinner - maybe a violin serenade, or he would get up and sing one of our songs, "tere bina zindagi se koi shikwa..." or "Bade acche lagte hain...".

The night before my birthday was pretty grotty as Bojjandi had a reaction to some medication and started throwing up. We spent the night cleaning up after him and changing his clothes, hoping the medicine would stay down. When he finally got to sleep, on our bed, we discovered we couldn't sleep because each time one of us would nod off, Bojji would turn towards him or her in his sleep and kick them in the nuts. I finally traipsed to his room at about 4 am and put him back in his crib before we could finally grab some shut-eye. I was starting to feel thankful for my lowkey birthday plans.

My birthday began with the traditional hoopla - I was crowned with the birthday crown and we sang the silly birthday song ( hurray, hurray, it's mama/ whoever's birthday, sing a happy song, sing along, it's a happy happy day). We normally make a crown out of chart paper or wrapping aper stuck onto a headband but we had't been able to find the headband. So A had actually gone to the trouble of trawling kids' stores and gift stores until he found the perfect, tackiest little crown imagineable - it even lights up!

Dad dropped in soon after we came down and gifted me an IPod nano from mom and him - a wonderful hot pink coloured one that I'm dying to charge and use. He passed on gifts from my sister and brother in law and their card which all too appropriately wished for me the three things every mother of kids in single digit age needs, especially one that's forty and has three kids - a little playtime, a good poop and a long nap!

It shaped up to be a great day, with A working from home and both of us actually managing naps in the afternoon for a change. I figured I better cook something nice for dad and the kids since they'd be at home while we were out celebrating and put together a simple Kerala-style meal - Kadala curry and cabbage thoran. A was hurrying me on to have my shower and get ready by the time I finished in the kitchen. I was chatting with Chubbocks while getting ready for my shower, and he suddenly said, "Mama, there's a birthday surprise for you." So I said, "Where?" Chubbocks says, "In the house. But I'm not going to tell you what it is." I thought it must be another birthday present but didn't want to pump him for the details, so I carried on with what I was doing. Just then I got a call from a friend about my business problems and I had a fifteen minute chat with him while A practically danced on his toes rushing me to the shower. I wondered what the hell had happened to him since I'm a 5-minute-shower girl.

I finally went up to get ready and that was another process...I had planned to wear this lovely and sexy black halter-neck dress that we had bought when we visited the US in 2005. I hadn't been able to fit into it since and now that I finally can, I wanted to prove to myself that i could look sexy at 40. A was a little iffy about it, which really surprised me because he's always the most encouraging person around. As it turned out, I thought the dress was - what else - making me look fat, so I begged off. Then I tried on a one-shoulder black top that was incredibly chic and which I had bought in Italy years ago and never worn. So A says, "Are you planning to wear a wrap with that?" I finally decided to give up on sexy and just go for cover-up and dragged out a wrap dress my sister had gifted me a couple of years ago. I pulled on a necklace that was conveniently within reach and serendipitously found nice evening shoes handy - see, it pays to be messy!

I had heard dad and the kids arriving so I A and I started walking down. As I opened the drawing room door, I saw that it was dark but figured Bojjandi had been doing his usual thing of playing with the light switches. As soon as I entered, people jumped out at me and yelled "SURPRISE" and the lights came on, and I saw my soul sis and several of our closest friends gathered in our living room, along with dad and the kids. It was an incredibly wonderful moment, and despite all my hints, a true surprise. But more was in store.

As we popped the bubbly and everyone got their glasses filled, A invited everyone into the family room to watch this amazing video he had put together. He had got friends and family from all over the world to make little videos and send them in and edited them with photos of me from various stages of life to make a tribute film which I am going to cherish forever...He had even ordered the food catered in, from Iram, which specialises in Hyderabadi food and which i am going to blog about on my food blog sometime. And he had ordered a special cake from a friend of ours who recently began catering desserts. All friends who were on the video but unable to make it for the party had been under strict instructions not to call me before 9:30 pm asking how the party and video were :)

It was an amazing night, which I am going to remember for a long, long time, and it felt truly wonderful to have such loving friends and family. Most of all, I was just blown away by all the good things people had to say about me, and especially by the amount of trouble, time, effort and thinking that A had put into it - he had been planning it since the previous September! A - you now have a get-out-of-jail-free card for the rest of your life :)