Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A little dirt...

Work had been completely crazy for the past several months so finally since it started becoming more manageable since last week, I got to take Chubbocks to the park again. Ever since our live-in maid went off on holiday, he's been cribbing that he never gets to play as long as he wants because the other maid brings him home by 6:30 pm so she can leave. I also figured it was a good opportunity to figure out what exactly was going down in the turf wars on the playground and help Chubbocks out of his heartbreak.

It worked out quite well - when the kids saw this rotund momma bowling to her kid, they all crowded around to watch the circus and it was a short step from that to getting more of them involved in the cricket game, so by end of the week we wound up playing with quite a few other kids.

I was usually the only mom there - all the rest were typically supervised by maids. One day, we found a whole bunch of baby snails in little conch shells spread out over the canna lily bed. I and the kids crowded around to watch, and the kids took out a few snails to examine them better. You would have thought they'd touched a BOMB or something, the way the maids reacted. They screamed, shouted that the 'keedas' ( insects) would bite the kids, that they would get their hands dirty and carried on till we had a full-going crowd gathered. The poor kids looked most upset at having their exploration cut short - one snail had finally emerged from the shell and started crawling over a leaf! I explained to the maids that snails were harmless and wouldn't do anything to the kids. Since I was the 'memsaab' there, they couldn't argue but shook their heads dubiously and kept trying to drag their charges away.

A little later, we found a little centipede rushing along. It was beautifully striped, and with its many legs, rushing over the ground like an express train. Between the fast movements and the stripes, it looked as if a ripple was moving across the ground and I and the kids were watching it in fascination. Until the maids brigade pounced again, hollering and carrying on. One of them even tried to stomp on the poor little thing, at which I lost my temper and shoved her back. Again I told the bunch of them that this was a harmless worm, and also asked the kids not to touch it in case any of them were allergic. The maids were too scared to pay much attention and kept trying to physically drag the kids off, who meanwhile were protesting and asking me to help.

On Monday, when I accompanied Chubbocks to his dance class, I found a mother who had come there to pick up her two kids, aged 8 and 5, with a maid in entourage. The maid was responsible for carrying the kids bags and water bottles, because how could the poor things have borne the weight? The 5 year old started scrabbling in the mud when she found an interesting pebble. Promptly the maid started pulling her away and saying your hands will get dirty. The mother also chimed in saying you'll get mud all over your hands.

Some months ago, Chubbocks had gotten into this 'cleany-clean' routine, where he would refuse to paint with water colours or get a tattoo done because 'it would make him dirty'. To my mind, that was an awfully unnatural attitude, and I got very upset about it. What's wrong with a little dirt? What's wrong with kids getting their hands dirty and making mud pies? Why is it so bad for kids to learn to explore the world around them freely and observe nature in all her myriad forms? Why do kids not get to jump into puddles any more?

Yesterday my maid said she'd brought Puddi home early from the park because the ground was all muddy and Puds was enjoying scooping it up and playing with it. I promptly told her that the next time she saw Puddi playing in the mud, she was to go right along and letting her do so. I encourage Chubbocks to jump into puddles after every rain - heck, I do so myself, expensive shoes or not. We're always watching out in our little garden for unusual leaves or flowers, or insects that are doing something, and picking up ladybugs to admire their beautiful colours. Chubbocks loves to watch ants busily scurry home lugging enormous pieces of food far larger than themselves clutched firmly in their mouths.

Being tidy is one thing, but taking cleanliness to this level is frankly quixotic, at this age. Kids should learn to be free, to explore, to tumble down and fall and pick themselves up again, to see the pictures in the clouds rather than learn to keep their hands clean and colour inside the lines. I remember the old story about Krishna, and how Yashoda once found him eating mud. She promptly scolded him and he denied doing so. She asked him to open his mouth so she could check...and when he did, she saw the whole universe in there...

9 comments:

Preethi said...

I agree.. Nantu was this clean freak too.. he refused to do finger painting in school because "It was too messy", the same kid however thinks nothing of jumping in puddles and rolling on the grass. So on a trip to my aunts place in India, I bought one of those chart papers, some paint and all of us dug in, my aunt, sis and me, since then Nantu enjoys finger painting and mess :P

noon said...

Looks like you had a lot of fun in your free time with the kids...
Turf wars :)
KB loves looking at the lady bugs and humming birds etc - he runs to see them through the window if he is inside when he spots one...and now KG too is so delighted when she sees birds in the yard...KB is strange - he is obsessively clean on the one hand but when he goes to the sand and water play area in the park - he asks to remove his shoes and socks and plays there...but the moment he is out of there he has to be completely dry and shoes back on...
Am terrified of how he will handle art corner in school - he loves to color and paint etc (well paint he only did when he went to this school while I was filling forms etc) - but he will immediately run to me if a spot of paints gets on his thumb...I am hoping he will get over it on his own...
I could picture the scene - you bolwing and kids watching and then joining you guys...
About the other maids - guess they are not to blame either - their respective boss maam's will yell at them if some bug bit their darling child and they went home with so much as a red spot...

Mystic Margarita said...

Yes - it's only natural for kids to play in the muck and get all dirty. Whenever we go the beach, Popol scoops up the wet sand and smears it all over his face and hair, eating some in the process. My first instinct was to stop him (the over-protective mom in me taking over) but one look at the joyous expression on his face as he spashed and mucked around - and I couldn't. A beautiful ending (Krishna anecdote) to a lovely post. :)

bird's eye view said...

Yes, what is it with these kids who want to stay tidy and us moms who want them to be messy, eh, Preethi?

Noon - yes, it was fun - and prolly a tamasha for the other kids. Am sure KB will also get over the neatness thing in time - Chubs did, thankfully. Yes, the ma'ams would probably scold the maids - but how sad is that for the poor kids?

MM - How nice, I can just picture the scene of this cute kiddo all over sand!

the mad momma said...

completely with you. only maids in the park.. and naturally they dont let the kids get dirty because that just adds to their work!

loved the karadi tales you gave the kids by the way... ref your last post.

Swati said...

Even ARyan wants to stay tidy...I gave him aata dough to play and he placed his fingers once and made a yucky face and asked me to wash and did not touch back :P

Neera said...

Hi Bev ..first time here and a brilliant find :) Came over from `nm's after looking at the Delhi blog meet pics, because couldn't resist telling u that u have such beautiful kids. Touchwood!! Saw ur Goa vacation pictures and went 'So cute!!' several times.
Read ur post on heart break and the same dilemma is always there at the back of our minds. We know at some point in time, peer pressure for all these violent shows and games is going to be so high that we really would have to fight a tough battle against that. I too would postpone it for as long as possible but till when, I don't know!!
But u r such a wonderful mom. I think u figured out the best possible way so that chubbocks has many friends joining in the fun with him and his cool mom :) U know what ..it might sound really funny but this time when we recently visited India for our vacation (Delhi itself btw :), I noticed that the laundry detergents are so much better there than here in the US (yeah look at the things we notice with kids around ;) ), obviously to fight all that dirt, I don' know what those maids crib about! :)
Anyways keep up the great work and please do give Chubbocks and Puddi hugs and kisses for me.

Rohini said...

Yup, I also find it totally ridiculous how people are scared of a little mud these days. Once when I was letting A hop around in puddles (and getting completely filthy in the process), I actually got a 5-minute lecture from a lady on the perils of doing so!!!

bird's eye view said...

Madmomma - sadly it's not only the maids. I've seen a lot of the 'yummy-mummy' brigade do that too.

Swati - hopefully they outgrow this neat phase. Having said that, now Chubbocks is turning into a slob who won't pick up after himself...

Neera, thanks so much for your lovely comments and the hugs will duly be passed on :)
The question of joining in versus being oneself is something that I guess each one of us has to confront all the time in life. Hope I manage to teach the kids to stand up for who they are...
You know - when I was visiting my sis in the US I fell in love with her stain remover - now ask my mom or her to lug it back for me all the time...maybe that's why I don't worry about the mess :)

Rohini - weird how concerned people are about a little mud - I mean it'll wash off, right? Meanwhile, they are happy having their pristinely clean kids watch violent cartoon shows!