Pregnancy Update

Now am properly in third trimester, but can't believe there is soo much time left still. Have become unbearably large and liable to overbalance at any and all times, even while sitting down ( as my pic will justify - and this is from giant blue egg day - much before had reached current size).

From proud possessor of over 50 pairs of vertiginous high heels, am now reduced to living in 3 pairs of flats. Can slip anywhere, anytime.

Permanently hungry - but unable to eat more than a few morsels when in front of food.

Permanently in the loo - want to tape pillow to backrest of toilet seat and move in forever.

Can get tired from just breathing in and out.

Pelvic bones aching - feel like the legs will pop out of their sockets any day now. Upper back hurts from supporting ginormous belly.

Barely fitting into maternity wear - will soon have to rent-a-tent from the tentwalas in the neighbourhood.

God - you have to be male. Only a male could have thought up such a tortuous way to get a baby into this world. And how thoughtful of you to make sure women got to do all the carrying. I guess you knew if you left it up to men, earth would still be ruled by dinosaurs!