Mumbai Aftermath

It's already more than a week after the terrible events of Bombay. And I'm still trembling inside. The day after the Bombay attack started, I kept Chubbocks home from school, unable to let him out of my sight ( Of course, by afternoon, dealing with all his pent-up energy, I was wishing I had sent him after all!). But how long do we keep ourselves safe by cocooning ourselves at home? Can I afford never to send my kids anywhere - school, playground or birthday party? I wonder if Chubbocks' school, a prominent one, has any safety measures in place and whether they plan to conduct drills in what everyone should do in the event of an attack. I can't help but remember the Chechnyan attack in Russia, where they held a school hostage and killed so many children. It felt bad enough then, but now that I'm a mom, I feel a visceral grief even imagining the possibility.

I work in a large office complex, with hundreds of people and several large offices around. We have some form of security check going on, but I wonder how well-trained these people are to actually be able to recognise if someone is carrying something dangerous. They check our identity cards in the morning and let us in, not checking our bags. But the terrorists in Bombay did have some form of identification, as did those who carried out 9/11. Each time I come into office, I say a prayer that I'll be able to get out safely and go home to my family.

It's not as if terrorism on Indian soil is something new. Way back in the 80s and 90s, Delhi was one of the first victims. All DTC buses used to have a sign behind the seats asking people to keep their eyes peeled for suspicious unidentified objects which could be bombs. My friend was visiting from Chennai and his hair stood on end when he read that the first time, and he spent the rest of the journney with his face below the seat, looking around for suspicious packages. Over the years, we've even developed a thick carapace and carry on...

But no longer. 26/11 has exposed the total lack of intelligence, security, coordination and concern on the parts of the administration and the government and left all of us feeling exposed to danger in a worse way than ever before. On 26th Nov, it was Bombay, today or tomorrow could be any other city in India, any other venue, and we all have no way of knowing or keeping ourselves safe except to cower within our homes forever.

I've never been the kind of person who worries, mostly I am happy and optimistic. But in the last week, I've grown a new nerve or something which just constantly worries for the safety of family and friends. I know it's not going to help and that it's not in my hands to prevent such a thing from happening, but I am worried each and every day until we're all safely back at home. And bizarrely, as someone who always eschewed fatalism as the philosophy of the indolent, suddenly that seems to be the only attitude which can help us lead life as normal. Que sera, sera, Insh'allah, who can prevent destiny...