Fear

Becoming a parent gives you lots of things - the gift that keeps on giving, as they say. It gives you...a sense of wonder every day...a reason to laugh...a magnetic attraction to wherever the kids are...but most of all it gives you stark, cold fear. ShahRukh Khan who's extremely articulate, once said that having kids is like letting little pieces of your heart run around free in the world, and I couldn't think of a more apt description. So given how much you protect your heart, how much more crazily protective would you be of these delicate little pieces?

I was remembering my childhood days and how free and easy they were. When we lived in Pandara Road, I used to walk down to the Mother Dairy about a kilometer away to fetch milk from the time I was seven. Mom used to send me on errands to Pandara Market and every so often down to Khan Market, which involved crossing Humayun Road, all by myself. When we travelled to the South by train, we'd make friends with other kids sitting nearby and the entire gang would roam up and down the length of the train to amuse ourselves. I used to travel to school by public transport when we lived abroad in a country whose language I couldn't speak, and when I was 14, dad used to send me downtown to send off telexes for him.

When I even think about doing things like that with my kids, my blood turns cold. I don't know whether it's an outcome of being an overprotective mom. I don't think I am and usually teach my kids to laugh when they fall down and encourage them to climb trees or swing on gates. But the thought of letting them go off alone and unprotected anywhere is quite daunting. Maybe it's the world we live in today?

You can't open a newspaper without seeing some horrible article about a child being molested, or beaten up, or, in Gurgaon, shot. Young children are being kidnapped by their parents' employees for ransom. Perverts are running about raping babies as young as a few days or a few months old. Not just perverts but even boys and girls in the peer group of the victims are up to all kinds of things, whether it's stealing a car and running away to Goa or luring a classmate to a suburb to kill him for money.

I worry about how to keep them safe and I worry about how to make sure they get a realistic picture of life. I worry about protecting them and about not over-protecting them to the extent that they can't be normal, healthy human beans. Someone said, in a schmaltzy movie once that God created mothers because he couldn't be everywhere himself. My question is why he didn't clone dozens of me which, while destructive for the planet, may be my only way to keep'em safe.

Still Quaking

Night before last, we had a big earthquake around 4:35 am. The epicenter of the quake was reight here in Gurgaon, so the impact was huge, and lead to wonder at all those people who stay right on top of San Andreas Fault. I was asleep on the sofa downstairs, having given up in defeat of getting any sleep in the bedroom thanks to a very snorey husband. Suddenly, everything starting moving and shaking from side to side. Various things in the house started jangling and clanking, the sofa moved like it wanted to throw me off.

I woke up in a flash and flew up the stairs, first calling to my maid to head downstairs and out of the house. I picked up my sleeping daughter from her crib, having first shrieked to my husband to get up, pick up our son and flee downstairs. I can't remember ever having moved faster, especially down the stairs, given that I have a slight phobia of stairs, especially when carrying my kids. In fact, I hardly ever carry them downstairs, since I'm so convinced I'll slip and fall with them.

That didn't stop me this time, and we were soon out in the park across the house. I sent the maid to wake up dad and my in-laws who were staying over at his house. That's when I realised I had come out into a cold wintry night clad only in PJs, and with no slippers or shoes on. Thankfully, the kids were warmly covered to start with, and my husband who's a pretty deliberate person, had taken the time to pull on a jacket and wear his slippers.

We waited uneasily outside. The nextdoor neighbour peered out of her window and asked if that had been an earthquake. "Yes, that's why we're out here", I replied, hoping she would take the hint. Nope, she and her family stayed put inside. Two more families had woken up. One stood around in their lawn - the husband and wife, that is, while their daughters were sleeping peacefully inside. "Don't disturb their sleep", I heard the mother say to the father.

We weren't sure exactly how long we were supposed to stand outside, so after a chilly fifteen minutes, we figured there was no risk of aftershakes and went back in. Later we heard that the intensity had been 4.8, which is pretty mild, but because we were at the epicenter, it felt like an 8 or 9 ( not in a good way!)

Today after all the excitement and lack of sleep has passed, I find myself thinking how little we know about safety rules. Do we know what makes for safety within a home, and how much of those do we follow? Do we have an emergency drill for fire, for earthquakes and other such calamities? I mean, God forbid, but they do happen. If our house had collapsed in the quake, we would have had no money, no passports, no documents of anything - quite apart from no clothes ( and slippers in my case).

Well, I looked up the safety rules for earthquakes and according to one website - pretty much do nothing! Stay indoors under furniture. If outdoors, head for open spaces. It doesn't say how long to wait for fear of aftershakes. Most important rule: Stay Calm! one website advises - Do not go sightseeing!
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