The Little Ironies of Motherhood

Disclaimer: I am Not!!! expecting a fourth baby, and no such plans. Am done with the baby-making. The first three instances are what happened to me with one or other of my 3 babies,

1. You finally lose all the maternity( or so you tell the world) weight and rush out to buy yourself a new wardrobe...and then find out you're unexpectedly pregnant again!
2. In the same vein( as a mother of 3)...you give away all the infant clothes, stating "I'm done with the baby business...' when ( for the ironical part of situation, see tail end of above!)
3. You just land a job you have coveted that involves late hours, lots of travelling and lots of challenge, when...a.( look up pt. #1); b. you are told you cannot travel/ exert yourself during your pregnancy!
4. You have 8 bathrooms in the house, 7 of which are free, but the kids insist they have to use the one you're sitting in RIGHT NOW!
5. You've just been enjoying a long stretch of domestic harmony with spouse when spouse's parents breeze into town and your smart-alec son says, "Mamma and abba fight a lot'!
6. You spend the first two years praying they'll start speaking soon and the next 10 trying to find the 'mute' button.
7. You find yourself saying, "If you hit her again, I'll murder you", with no sense of irony!
8. The spouse who was so broody he could have given birth long before you got married turns to you in the middle of a fight-to-the-death between your monsters and says, "So, whose idea was this whole parenting thing, anyway?"
9. Your evening with the spouse consists of a series of disjointed phrases interrupted by the kids. And when they're all finally asleep and you have all his attention and he turns to you and says, "What did you want to tell me, darling?", you can't remember.
10. You think of yourself as the most unmaternal woman ever. And once you spawn the brats, you just can't get enough of them and will walk up to strangers to bore them with the latest Bojjandi story ( exhibit 1: this blog!)

This is to add to Rohini's collection of The Ironies of Motherhood!