A Quiet Evening at Home!

Last evening started out great. We’ve been short-handed in the domestic staff department for the last several days, as seems to be the norm this year, as our live-in help had to rush off to her village for a family emergency. And between A’s manic work schedule and mine and then coping with three lively children at home, life has been pretty hectic. So yesterday when all three of the kids seemed sleepy by 7, we were pleasantly surprised. A put them to bed and was thrilled when all three were knocked out by 8.

He came down in a triumphant mood, looking forward to us sharing a drink and getting some downtime together, maybe watching a nice movie or something. Only to be brought down with a crash when I said I had a conference call scheduled for 9 pm. Not to mention I had some pending work to finish off before then. Anyway, I wasn’t about to refuse a drink so I sipped on a tall glass of Amarula as we both laptopped away in companionable silence. Then of course came the conference call, and it was past ten by the time we went up to bed. We watched an episode of The Lucy Show which was hilarious, and during the second one began our nightly routine of dozing off by turns. Suddenly a loud shrieking sound jolted us both out of our stupor. No, it wasn’t Lucy, caterwauling away, it was Bojjandi, yelling for ‘mama, mama…’

A rushed to the kids’ bedroom, hoping to quiet him down before he woke the other two. After half an hour, he came back, defeated, saying, “He keeps asking for mama”. I wearily crawled out of bed to the kids room. First thing I did was lift the poor li’l guy out of his crib and give him a big cuddle, assuming he’d had a night terror episode. Then I sang to him sotto voce, his favourite lullaby, ‘Taarammaiyaa..’ After a good ten-fifteen minutes, he finally seemed to have quietened down to a sleepy state so I put him down in his crib and patted his back for a while. I thought he was finally asleep and decided to sneak out of the room.

I had barely put my hand on the door handle, when a sleepy yet anxious, “Mamaa?” came from the crib. Back I went again and patted away, crooning to him from time to time while my arm got numb from being draped over his crib in a funny position. I thought he was finally asleep and decided to sneak out of the room. I had barely…you know the rest! This happened a good three four times over and I decided my arms were getting punished for no fault of theirs.

I picked up Bojji and brought him back to our room, hoping he’d fall asleep on the spare mattress that’s become a perennial installation thanks to the kids. I tried lying down next to him for a while and patting him, hugging him close…No luck. Then I gave up and called A to the task. He tried…He gave up. We switched off all the lights and tried again…Finally, finally, I thought I understood Bojjandi’s problem. He had been very fussy at mealtimes, as he tends to be these days, now that he’s nearing his terrible twos, and had not eaten much. And given that this strongwilled baby has given up milk for the last month since we decided to wean him off the bottle, he was starving.

A trekked wearily down three flights of stairs to make a ‘dam sannejj’( jam sandwich) at past midnight. This, needless to say, was not what he had had in mind when dreaming of midnight feasts!He came back up and I started feeding Bojjandi a small bit at a time. He eagerly opened his mouth for each bite and I felt a little like a mama bird feeding a vociferously hungry baby bird. After four-five bites, Bojjandi had found his stride again, so he peacefully leaned his round, chubby little body into A’s, resting his head on A’s stomach. He’d slowly chew each bite and then sit back up and lean towards me for the next bite.

A and I were sprawled on the mattress, Bojjandi wedged between us and a bedside lamp illuminating the room, watching as his face went back from being screwed up full of angst to peaceful and smiley with his hunger dissipating. And suddenly, despite the flurried and frenzied hour or so we’d just spent, these moments seemed so very poignant and precious. The joy of being able to understand what your child wants and to provide it at exactly the right time. The joy of watching him go from being agitated to calm and peaceful. The exquisite happiness of feeling your child just curl up into your body with the certainty of unconditional acceptance and ownership. And the peace that steals over a parent’s soul when he or she watch their child going trustfully to sleep, the curly eyelashes fluttering shut as the small body gives in to the overwhelming demands of Morpheus.

Of course, the fact that he woke up at his usual time of 6 am this morning, while our middle-aged bodies had not even half finished their quota of sleep made all that less poignant!!

Long overdue updates

I started this blog because I thought it'd be great for the kids to see my memories of them laid out over the years once they got older. Of course, that only works when you are laying out those memories at regular intervals instead of practically once a year as I have been. Suffice it to say it has been a hectic time for several reasons so I've hardly been blogging this year.

But it's high time to update everyone on what's going on. To start with, I can proudly say that Chubbocks is a reader! I kind of had the feeling he would be, what with us owning (yes, I have to brag about this) over 5000 books and having set up a library at home, and the fact that he used to mug up his favourite books from the age of two and a bit onwards and pretend to be reading them out, but still...now he's a bonafide member of the reader's clan. I gave hima reading list this summer, of books that he could read over and above the stuff he was into anyway, like Horrid henry etc, and I'm delighted to say he has made great headway, and he loves some of those books and is dying to read them again, if only the list of new reads wasn't so exciting. I have also started a book club for kids his age, and plan to have a meeting this weekend if possible, so i'm looking forward to it.

Puddi has as always made a smooth transition, as butter-soft as her cheeks, from playschool to full time school. We were a little worried the first couple of days as she would go in crying but that passed really fast and now l'il madam comes and goes on the school bus. A rode along the first morning she went by bus, and apparently Puddi confidently marched to a seat, sat down and began chattering away with a boy from Class III or IV, much to his embarrassment! Poor thing, she does have a long school day for a four year old - from 7:45 am to 3:15 pm when she returns, and there are days when she gets cranky from being tired. But on the whole she's taken to it like a duck to water.

And now Bojjandi is also in school! He's in playschool twice a week. It's a parent-accompanied class so I go once a week and my maid goes with him once a week. And this little kiddo just loves it. We were lucky enough to get the same magical teacher who first taught Chubbocks and Puddi ( Jimmy is famous in Gurgaon), and Bojji has really taken a liking to him and to school. Now every day, in fact several times a day and even at odd times like after dinner, Bojjandi will start plaintively demanding, "ecooy jaana hai"( school jaana hai). Within two sessions at school he was singing along to 'Three little monkeys' and his English is growing by leaps and bounds. Now it's become a common sight around our colony to see him marching along wearing an empty old school bag on his shoulders, in imitation of Puddi and Chubbocks.

It's quite interesting to see the dynamics between the three siblings. There are times when they play very well together and it's lovely to hear three giggles pealing out through the house. Chubbocks is really protective of Puddi if anyone, including we, threaten her, and they have also reached the stage where they can play some board games together - Snakes and Ladder, Ouch etc.

But Chubbocks has reached a stage where he thinks he should be able to boss Puddi around because he's older, and my spirited gal ain't having any of that. So last night at the dinner table, I was telling Chubbocks to be careful not to get any food stains on his father's white shirt as he was perilously waving his dinner spoon around. As usual, Chubbocks tried to be contrarian and say, "The shirt isn't even white". So Puddi puts her oar in with a contemptuous, "Don't talk rubbish, ok! It is white." And she does it so nonchalantly that it has A and me in fits of laughter!

Then she and Bojji have a very different equation. She loves him but he's a bit jealous of her so he'll come up to me and complain, "puddi puchin"( Puddi pushing). Or he'll demand the exact toy she's chosen to play with and cry his heat out if she doesn't hand it over. Sometimes she'll reach out to hug or kiss him and he'll shy away. But then there are the times when they both go whirling around a room like dervishes before falling down bang! on the carpet, in a crazy game and laugh together for hours...

The Secret Language of Be's

Puddi: "A star be's like this!", drawing imaginary points in the air

Puddi, arguing with me about something, "No, mamma", emphatically, "It doesn't be's like that!"

Bojjandi, after spotting us buying litchis on the way to the club, piteously, then stridently from the back seat, "Gimme teetu! I wan' teetu!"

A Very Funny Tantrum

This is a family joke cooked up by father and son – whenever someone sits down to eat in our house, they solicitously ask, "Is your food cold? Shall I vomit (warm it) for you?" and both of them go off into fits of laughter.

Today Chubbocks was really getting it from me for making various promises he had not kept, including reading a particular book within a certain timeframe. I told him I wouldn't hand over the book any more, so he started with his usual tantrum – caterwauling, making wild promises and refusing to eat dinner till he got the book back. It carried on for some time while A and I joined Puddi and Bojjandi for dinner.

Tired of being ignored, Chubbocks would periodically come into the dining room to remind us that he wouldn't start eating dinner till he got the book back. We continued our stoic program of royal ignore. Then Chubbocks came back for yet another pass at dinner, so A told him, "Come and have your dinner now. Enough sulking. See, it's getting cold. Shall I vomit for you?"

Chubbocks was in such a rage by this stage of the evening that he burst out, "That's not a funny joke" and in sheer temper hurled himself out of the room, banging the door shut behind him.

Well, you know what a house is like when there's a baby loose? Sure enough, there was a door guard on it to keep it from banging shut, so the door just bounced a couple times and reopened. The climax of the tantrum was when Chubbocks had to come back, remove the door guard and then re-bang the door to achieve the full effect!

Bojjanji status update

It's been a long while since I had time to blog, one of the perils of working from home. Every minute that you spend on something apart from work is a minute you could have spent with the kids, so nothing else gets done except the absolutely essential.

Bojjandi is turning out to be an absolute delight, and we think God gave us a pretty great present by gifting us this unexpected baby bonus. He is, ( touch wood), a very happy baby, much like his siblings, and has an endless ability to amuse himself. He thinks he is as big and capable as them so whatever he sees them doing, he must follow suit. Climbing up the slide rather than its steps, jumping off from the center table in the drawing room, feeding himself...He's also a very physically active baby so he spends the whole day running around, now jumping, now climbing, now sliding down a chair..

He has latched on to Teletubbies like his siblings had, so every morning after he's had his milk, he imperiously waves his fat, chubby fingers and makes beckoning gestures at me, "Mamma! Yaya-po, c'mon." If I continue to ignore him and read my paper, he gets more impatient. "Mama! gi'up, c'mon, Yaya-po c'mon!" He watches the Teletubbies portions in fascination, though he gets bored with the bits wherein they show other children. For a while, he imitated the baby sun, and he'd say, "Baby! Erghhh" like the baby sun says in the show, and chortle madly. He is quite obsessed with teletubbies and left to himself would watch it all day. If the powe rgoes off while he's watching, he comes running out of the family room with the TV remote in his hand, saying 'Yaya po finish!", asking us to switch it on again.

He has become quite the communicator, out of sheer self-defense in this vociferous household. He is very clear about what he wants and will belligerently ask for 'paani' or 'dudh dido', 'totti dido' (toffee de do), 'duy' (dahi) at all times of day and night. The other day he was creating a fuss over his breakfast and then suddenly started screaming, "Bangu" when the maid put down a cut melon on the table. It took us a while to figure out that he thought it was a mango. Given his hectic prancing around, he tends to get hurt quite a bit so all day you can hear plaintive "kag gai" ( lag gayi) from him. But before you can do more than kiss the hurt, he's up and off again.

He was pretty frantic when I was away, because unlike the other two he's not old enough to understand what happened and where I went. So he would spend the day endlessly asking where I was and running to the door each time the bell rang, "mamma aaya!" Whenever I spoke to him over the phone, he'd get all excited and then refuse to hand over the phone to anyone else, partly because I think he expected me to appear out of it anytime, as if we were playing peekaboo. He'd keep saying "mamma, hayo mamma" over and over, and it was heartbreaking for me to have to end the conversation.

It's really been wonderful to watch each new stage of his development and I don't know whether we were like this with each of his siblings or because we know he's the last baby we'll have, but each new thing seems to be so poignant, I keep wishing we could freeze time and have it last a little longer.

My Birthday

A few days before my birthday this year, A and I were rushing throug a mall for some work when I spotted a yellow straw bag in a shop. I casually commented that it looked like a fun bag to carry around for summer and that maybe I would buy it some time later. A immediately said, "Why don't I get you that for your birthday present? I haven't got you anything so far."

I had been hinting since last year that I would love a surprise birthday party on my 40th birthday but things had been really crazy around the house, with one maid missing, me serving as cook and general factotum and kids being sick one after another. So I figured any kind of party would be impossible. But a straw bag as a 40th birthday present? Sorry, but I'm more materialistic than that. And when he followed it up with "We can at least go out for dinner to Olive", I thought it was shaping to be the worst birthday ever. I mean, going to dinner at Olive is something we do for any old birthday or anniversary, not for a milestone one. So I just grouchily said that we could just order in pizza and eat it in our pajamas as I didn't feel up to making an effort.

I grumbled to my soulsis at length the next day, wishing that she still lived in Delhi so we could at least take off for a spa day together...But I got my cool back and decided anything was ok. Around Wednesday, when I asked him where we were going for dinner, A said cryptically, "Don't ask too many questions and just play along as the evening unfolds." I thought he must have cooked up some romantic surprise at the dinner - maybe a violin serenade, or he would get up and sing one of our songs, "tere bina zindagi se koi shikwa..." or "Bade acche lagte hain...".

The night before my birthday was pretty grotty as Bojjandi had a reaction to some medication and started throwing up. We spent the night cleaning up after him and changing his clothes, hoping the medicine would stay down. When he finally got to sleep, on our bed, we discovered we couldn't sleep because each time one of us would nod off, Bojji would turn towards him or her in his sleep and kick them in the nuts. I finally traipsed to his room at about 4 am and put him back in his crib before we could finally grab some shut-eye. I was starting to feel thankful for my lowkey birthday plans.

My birthday began with the traditional hoopla - I was crowned with the birthday crown and we sang the silly birthday song ( hurray, hurray, it's mama/ whoever's birthday, sing a happy song, sing along, it's a happy happy day). We normally make a crown out of chart paper or wrapping aper stuck onto a headband but we had't been able to find the headband. So A had actually gone to the trouble of trawling kids' stores and gift stores until he found the perfect, tackiest little crown imagineable - it even lights up!

Dad dropped in soon after we came down and gifted me an IPod nano from mom and him - a wonderful hot pink coloured one that I'm dying to charge and use. He passed on gifts from my sister and brother in law and their card which all too appropriately wished for me the three things every mother of kids in single digit age needs, especially one that's forty and has three kids - a little playtime, a good poop and a long nap!

It shaped up to be a great day, with A working from home and both of us actually managing naps in the afternoon for a change. I figured I better cook something nice for dad and the kids since they'd be at home while we were out celebrating and put together a simple Kerala-style meal - Kadala curry and cabbage thoran. A was hurrying me on to have my shower and get ready by the time I finished in the kitchen. I was chatting with Chubbocks while getting ready for my shower, and he suddenly said, "Mama, there's a birthday surprise for you." So I said, "Where?" Chubbocks says, "In the house. But I'm not going to tell you what it is." I thought it must be another birthday present but didn't want to pump him for the details, so I carried on with what I was doing. Just then I got a call from a friend about my business problems and I had a fifteen minute chat with him while A practically danced on his toes rushing me to the shower. I wondered what the hell had happened to him since I'm a 5-minute-shower girl.

I finally went up to get ready and that was another process...I had planned to wear this lovely and sexy black halter-neck dress that we had bought when we visited the US in 2005. I hadn't been able to fit into it since and now that I finally can, I wanted to prove to myself that i could look sexy at 40. A was a little iffy about it, which really surprised me because he's always the most encouraging person around. As it turned out, I thought the dress was - what else - making me look fat, so I begged off. Then I tried on a one-shoulder black top that was incredibly chic and which I had bought in Italy years ago and never worn. So A says, "Are you planning to wear a wrap with that?" I finally decided to give up on sexy and just go for cover-up and dragged out a wrap dress my sister had gifted me a couple of years ago. I pulled on a necklace that was conveniently within reach and serendipitously found nice evening shoes handy - see, it pays to be messy!

I had heard dad and the kids arriving so I A and I started walking down. As I opened the drawing room door, I saw that it was dark but figured Bojjandi had been doing his usual thing of playing with the light switches. As soon as I entered, people jumped out at me and yelled "SURPRISE" and the lights came on, and I saw my soul sis and several of our closest friends gathered in our living room, along with dad and the kids. It was an incredibly wonderful moment, and despite all my hints, a true surprise. But more was in store.

As we popped the bubbly and everyone got their glasses filled, A invited everyone into the family room to watch this amazing video he had put together. He had got friends and family from all over the world to make little videos and send them in and edited them with photos of me from various stages of life to make a tribute film which I am going to cherish forever...He had even ordered the food catered in, from Iram, which specialises in Hyderabadi food and which i am going to blog about on my food blog sometime. And he had ordered a special cake from a friend of ours who recently began catering desserts. All friends who were on the video but unable to make it for the party had been under strict instructions not to call me before 9:30 pm asking how the party and video were :)

It was an amazing night, which I am going to remember for a long, long time, and it felt truly wonderful to have such loving friends and family. Most of all, I was just blown away by all the good things people had to say about me, and especially by the amount of trouble, time, effort and thinking that A had put into it - he had been planning it since the previous September! A - you now have a get-out-of-jail-free card for the rest of your life :)

Chubbocks' Birthday

Blogging about this almost a month late !

We've always managed to put in a lot of effort into Chubbocks' birthday parties, but this year was an exception. A was going to be in Bombay for his company launch and not even sure he could make it back on his birthday. Our maid was away on leave. My parents were in the US and not likely to be back. I had some on-going trouble with my ex-employer who was bent on harassing me. And the two younger kids were down with a viral and throat infection as well as me.

All in all, not the most festive environment to plan a party. A suggested that we just throw principles to the wind and host it at a mall nearby or a Pizza Hut. But I hated the idea, always have...Then I realized that there were so many of Chubbocks' school friends having birthday parties that booking the date was also brcoming critical. Finally I remembered that one of Chubbocks' close friends also has his birthday a day before Chubbocks, and that it happened to fall on a sunday so I thought the best thing to do would be a combined party.

L offered to host it and I gratefully accepted, and we agreed to have two cakes, one for each child, for me to bring macaroni and she would make the sandwiches. I'd pay for the bouncy, we'd each contribute return gifts ( a copy of Enid Blyton's The Magic Faraway Tree, which i have always loved) and she'd organise everything else. Truth to tell, she did organise everything and I felt that I had taken advantage of her enthusiasm since she did a superb job.

She lives in a beautiful farmhouse with lots of open land around, and she had worked very hard on her garden. Every nook was filled with lovely spring flowers, and the weather too was perfect. Apart from the bouncy, L had organised a chaat stall and worked on a pass-the-parcel, complete with silly punishments, hired a magician who was really good, hired dune buggies which the kids could ride around in the large open spaces, and set up musical chairs. When I saw what all she had organised, I felt worse than ever that I hadn't had the energy to invite some of our personal friends and their kids, but I'd been so exhausted I had just not made any effort.

The kids had a wonderful time between the bouncy, the buggies and the pass-the-parcel. Best of all, despite the hired entertainment, it had just the feel I wanted of a party held at home. On the actual birthday, I took the three kids to the mall nearby and fed them McDs, so I guess I did succomb to the McDs birthday party syndrome too :)Happy Birthday C!

PS. Just wanted to post about a little incident with Chubbocks.
A few days back, he came home from the park in a flaming temper. I figured it was best if I let him cool down for a bit so I carried on with cooking dinner while he sat and fumed. Just as I was getting dinner on the table, he asked if he could just go and meet his friends for a few minutes. I was a little reluctant to let him go at that time and asked what was so urgent. He said his friend had been teasing him and he got upset and punched him. So he wanted to go over and say sorry! I was so impressed that he had realised he should say sorry without any prompting from me because he does tend to have a bad temper inherited from me, and hates to say sorry.

Okay, so the big 4-0 is upon me. I will have officially reached middle age tomorrow. So...well, don't really feel all that old or middleaged. While grey hairs abound, no signs of wisdom/ maturity yet. Of course, for some strange reason, I am feeling compelled to do all kinds of things, from getting a facial/ pedicure to buying myself an expensive gift, which I can't afford, in my current jobless state.

But on the whole, while as usual life caught up with some of the goals I had set for myself, I am pretty happy with where I have reached so far. I wanted to lose enough weight to fit into a sexy black halter dress I bought five years ago, just before I got pregnant with Puddi and have since been unable to fit into...Thanks to my now regular gym sessions, that's a check.

I always have a dislike for twilight - it gets me depressed unless I am in the company of friends/ loved ones...thanks to A and the kids, that's a check.

I wanted to be working in an interesting job...I am now working for myself. I love my boss. So that's a check.

I guess one of the things you realise, the more milestone birthdays you have under your belt, is that as you grow older, you change in ways that you want to change, if you are a generally happy kind of person. So those changes don't sort of creep up and make you shout out in horror and say oh no, who have I turned into. On the whole, I am turning into the me I imagined being...hapy birthday, me!

Seven already...

Dear Chubbocks,

How time flies...I can't believe my little chubbu-bubbu is seven years old already. I still remember you as a baby, flashing that lovely eyes and heart open grin that captivated everybody - even strangers on the street would stop, ruffle your hair and smile back. I remember that diapered baby-butt shaking fiercely to Jee Jee Doh - the first sign of your musicality. I remember what a shy boy you used to be, and how slowly, gradually, Jimmy, manu and the other teachers at Julia Gabriel drew you out until you truly became a confident communicator. And how, at every class, the minute Manu pulled out the Casio, everyone knew you;d ask for the Monkey song. Your first ever complete sentence was so characteristic: "Abba, what are you doing my face!" And the first word you learnt the spelling of, from hearing Abba and me saying it in code, when you were merely two years old - M-I-L-K!

You have become such a wonderful little boy and I constantly marvel at you. I know, on a daily basis, we just get exasperated with your early morning dawdling and your teasing of your sister, forgetting little things and eating too slowly. But when we sit down to think about you, there are just so many things I love about you and that make me proud of you.

One of the most endearing things you do is the way you look after your pandas. Even Puddi's one that you adopted after she stopped caring for it. Every night, you make sure their heads rest comfortably on the little herbal cushion and that they are as well covered by your blanket as you are. Even on family sleep nights, you make sure they are made part of the family.

You also look after your siblings pretty well. While you love to tease Puddi and certainly have no dearth of tiny complaints against her almost every hour of the day, let anyone else scold her - even us - and you become her tender protector. Whenever Abba and I threaten to punish her, we have to forget it because you plead with us with your brown spaniel eyes. And you play with her very nicely when you want to, and help her so beautifully with her activities. I love to see the look of genuine pride in your eyes when she does an activity correctly. You're also very good with Bojjandi. You're very gentle with him, and on the rare occasions so far that I've yelled at him, as usual, you've dashed to his rescue. You look out for toys and books to give him and don't mind him trailing along behind you. You're so excited when he learns something new!

I love the way you concentrate on your work. On Republic Day when you played the Casio for the National Anthem and the National Song, what amazed everyone who watched you was the focus with which you did it, oblivious to the crowd staring at you. Even when you're reading you're the same.

And I love how passionate you are about everything you do, whether it's dinosaurs or ben 10, pokemon or cricket. Last year you were convinced that somewhere in America, I could buy you the real Ben 10 watch and you could turn into ten different aliens. This year it's all about Pokemon and how calvados evolved into rampados and who stole your 'legendary'. Your telephone conversations with your friends are very cute, because they are so innocent, to-the-point and so focussed on Pokemon.

Despite all your reading and your activities and exposure, by and large you are still a wide-eyed little boy. You still believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus and all manner of fairy folk. I'm sure you really hope that one day you'll find the magic Wishing Chair and the Magic Faraway Tree. You still snuggle up to us, even though you've become too big to be unselfconscious about kissing us anymore.

It makes me so proud of you when moms of your classmates come up to me and compliment me on your reading ability, or the facts you come up with in class, or say that you're one kid with whom they can have a proper conversation about anything, or that their child says you are his best friend. At the moment you have an aversion to girls which is mutual, so no girls are making a best pal of you yet...but I'm sure that'll change!

Chubbocks baby, on this and every other birthday, I have the same wishes. That you keep this enthusiasm for life. That you wake up each day feeling excited to start a new day. That the world does nothing to destroy your illusions and innocence.

I love you with all my heart.

TWMITU

Soul satisfying

As the days go by and the kids are growing up, we find that each and every moment where we are able to completely focus on spending time with them and exposing them to the good things in life are becoming more and more special. This year, without making any grand resolutions about the same, I thought it's high time we began taking advantage of living in a vibrant metro full of culture.

Last weekend, I took them to art galleries around the city which had different types of exhibits. The ones in habitat center had new artists, experimenting with shapes and forms and dabbling in both painting and sculpture. The kids were fascinated by some bronze sculptures which depicted slices of Indian life - one showed a typical tea stall, with the stall owner busy straining tea from a large vessel, while some of his patrons sat sipping tea from kullads. some others were engrossed in debating the news from a newspaper...Another sculpture showed a wall with a hole in it, and a crowd had gathered around it, the way crowds do in India. Some of the people carried implements - spades, iron rods...some were trying to peer through the hole. The sculptures were beautifully detailed in miniature - none of the figures was over a foot tall - and captured the moment in such intricacy, one almost felt one was there. There were some lovely paintings too, of a range of subjects ranging from the figurative to landscapes. Chubbocks fell in love with a gouache landscape of a city gate - I have noticed this about him before that he tends to love gouaches. His favourite painting at home is a JMS Mani of a small little temple - he says it looks 3D, as if he were there.

We then went on to the Krishan Khanna retrospective, which was fabulous. It captured snippets of his entire oeuvre and many of the titles referenced the classic poets. This was followed up by tea at Triveni, where the kids got to work off some of their pent-up energy by running up and down the aisles of the amphitheatre while I caught up with an old friend. Sunday morning was spent having lunch with family friends at the club while being entertained with live western music. The club usually has live Indian film music, and all the old favourites by Rafi, Manna Dey, Hemant Kumar and Kishore Kumar are sung with great gusto.

This weekend we decided to head for our annual winter treat of fondue at Diva. A used to laugh at my liking for fondue earlier, but became a fan when we lived in France, so now it's on our must-dos. The only thing is Delhi's span of really cold winter is so brief that it becomes a challenge, but somehow we manage to make it happen. The cheese fondue was as divine as ever, preceded with some wonderful fresh-baked Italian bread and by a starter of shaved parmesan and roast asparagus served on grilled polenta - simple and awesome. We then tried out a new dessert place called Whipped (read my review on food and laughter) and headed home. The evening was spent playing with the kids and managing the time for a quiet walk for just A and me, and topped off with a flavourful, wholesome dinner of Zuni Stew. After the kids went off to bed, A and I also managed to head out and watch the Sherlock Holmes movie.

On Sunday afternoon, we went to the winter carnival held in our colony. Various residents had done tremendous work in putting this together, and several of them were hosting food stalls which had simply delicious things to eat. Sunday evening, we decided to head for the Bonjour India celebration at Select City Walk Mall. This was a mix of opera, burlesque and circus and was part of a Festival of France organised by the French Embassy. The traffic was murderous and we almost had thoughts of heading back but somehow managed to park and get out.

As soon as we entered the Mall grounds, we beheld the spectacle of 7 or 8 crimson giraffes constructed of vibrant red cloth stretch out over hoops. Each giraffe was operated by two people - one sat in front and managed the head movements and the front legs while the other one sort of lay in the stomach cavity of the giraffe and managed the back legs. The gait of these giraffes was pretty true to nature, and they swayed as gracefully as their natural cousins as they ambled across the grounds. Then the celebration started.

A diva dressed in a white costume rose high up on a craned platform and sang her heart out in an operatic aria, while the giraffes moved close to her and formed an arch overhead.

The music mingled with the poignant light of sunset and the colours of the spectacle to create the sort of divine moment when your soul is moved and lifted. Then the clown who had been lying at the diva's feet on a high charpoy began his act, singing and dancing in a frenzy...

The parade continued throughout the grounds of the mall complex so that people in any of the four malls could see it properly. We carried on for dinner at the Spaghetti Kitchen which was superb. It's been a while since we really relished Italian food, since we have by now had it so often, but the SK surprised us with the quality of food and the service. We headed to the Haagen Dazs for icecream and by sheer serendipity, caught the tail-end of the parade.

The troupe played an assortment of songs - french, tamil, Hindi, Bollywood, fusion and the like, foot-stomping beats which had us dancing right there in the grounds of the mall and then culminated in fireworks...Thus ended a weekend which combined family time, culture and great food…my kind of weekend!

Here I go again…

I just finished watching Mamma Mia, the hit musical film based on ABBA music. Yes, I'm about a year behind schedule, but it was wonderful to finally get to watch it thanks to the power of my new DVR, and as A and I belted out the songs to the assembled audience of a dance-crazy daughter and a slightly embarrassed six year old son, it brought back a host of memories from college days.

My college friend Bhavna has her birthday on the first of January, and every year she'd host a birthday bash at her house on the first. She used to have an all-day party for all her girlfriends, and in the evening the 'formal' party would be held with family friends and so on, cake cutting etc. We'd all land up there bright and early, since our curfews were quite early in those days. There was a gang of about ten of us from college who used to be close friends and we'd all land up together around eleven. Bhavna stayed in a government flat which boasted a large living room, and as soon as all of us got there, she'd dig out her ABBA records and all of us would have a blast singing along at the top of our voices, dancing, gossiping…

It used to be a real feel-good of a day and cast a pleasant spell over us. It was such a wonderful way to start a new year off – hang out with friends, warm sunlight flooding in on a clear, cold day, listen, sing and dance to great music and eat good food all day!

Time for me

As you have kids and life becomes ever more hectic, it's so easy to forget about making time for the things you want or like. After a while, as a mom, it almost becomes second nature to deny yourself what you want and opt for what the kids want instead - trips to the park instead of to an art gallery or museum, eating at the McDs instead of a restaurant, skipping movies, opting for family time instead of time as a couple...

For me somehow, right from the beginning, it's been important to have time for A and I as a couple. We've had good help at home, and my parents living close by so we've managed to go out for movies, out for meals or parties once in a while. But time to myself has been something I've been pretty stingy about, maybe also because I work fulltime.

In the beginning it was so bad that I would put off nature breaks if the kids wanted something, not realising I was hopping uneasily from one foot to the other while getting whatever they needed. Now it's a rare occurrence for me to go out for so much as a mani-pedi, a once in 3-4 months thing. Haircuts have become an annual event. (Of course, the mani-pedi-haircut thing may also be because I'm naturally lazy about things like that - have been even before I had kids.) Reading is once the kids are in bed or while I'm getting ready or commuting. Writing tends to happen late at night or during occasional breaks at work. Worst of all is that I've fallen off the fitness wagon.

I used to work out thrice a week with a trainer when Chubbocks was small. But that was a time I felt I could permit myself since I worked only halfdays. Then, after Puddi came, I started really rationing my me-time so I began working out with the trainer at 5:30 in the morning, as that one hour was a spell during which the kids and A were fast asleep, so I wasn't 'robbing' anyone of that time. And after Bojjandi came along, I just didn't have the bandwidth or the energy, between breast-feeding, pumping, working and making time for the other two and A.

It's only when I took a break from work, starting July, that I felt I could make a commitment to one hour of working out, and enrolled in a nearby gym. It's been a great thing for me, because I'm not a do-it-yourself yoga type, I either need a tape/ DVD or the energy of other people that bounces off the wall at a gym, to push me. I also have always loved weight-training and working out on machines and the gym has more than enough for my needs so I love working out there.

More than everything, though, when I was doing some thinking about life directions as one tends to do at the end of every year, it hit me that being fit and healthy and energetic went beyond just going back to my original size - before the hypo-thyroid and baby-making caught up on me. It was to do with the sense of empowerment I felt just by taking action against something I saw as an issue. And also, it was about becoming healthier, having more energy to do things for myself and for others. That's when it hit me that one of the few changes I feel called upon to make this year onwards in my attitude towards my own health and fitness, and me-time in general.

I have to start thinking of it as an investment in the family, rather than something I'm robbing them of. Just like I try and think of working as something that builds assets for the family - more money, yes, but also a more patient me. My being fit and having more energy to hang with the kids and being more healthy is likely to keep paying off longterm dividends for the family. I'll be around longer, for one thing. And healthier more of that time. And happier, with a better self image and more positivity and a better attitude about how to cope with life's troubles, big and small.

I think a lot of women make this mistake of treating anything they do for themselves as an indulgence and therefore either of secondary importance or 'robbing' their family. Sometimes it is, let's face it. But a lot of times, it is something that's necessary for their physical and mental wellbeing, so let's stop Nirupa-Roying ourselves!

Looking back at 2009

The Good:
Getting to take a break from working
Visiting the US and seeing my sister and family twice and meeting my new nephew; while on business
Having a rare few hours of just my parents, my sister and I - not a spouse or child in sight :)Setting the stage for a great next job
Finding out I do have balls, just like I always thought!
Finding some true friends through a time of crisis
Catching up with lots of old friends anew
Holidaying by myself
Learning to discipline my spending
Getting back to gym-ming
Spending time with the family
Houseguests, including unexpectedly, because he lives just down the street, Dad
Getting the house just the way we want it
Losing some of the baby weight - hallelujah!
Visiting new places - Seattle, Minneapolis
Starting a book club
Reading some amazing books
Sharing lots of laughs with Ali over our bedtime viewing of Friends, Frasier and The Cosby Show
Products we designed getting launched
Alena getting into Aman's School

The Bad:
The sound of the two kaudi I have left in my bank account clinking together
A lapse of judgement and values
Health in general
My ex-workplaceAli's film production gig not working out due to the slowdown

The Ugly:
Armaan's hospitalisation
Armaan and Alena's frequent coughs and colds
Finding out how low some people can sink
An egomaniacal exboss out for revenge
Dealing with cops and lawyers

All in all, a year in which the good and great outweighed the bad and ugly, by far. God - thank you for this, and all the laughter, tears and learning you sent my way last year.

This year, what I wish for:
To grow
To learn
To be more patient and more accepting
To stay true to my core values
For my family and friends to stay healthy, happy and stable...

And for me to get back into shape :)